It's Happening...

It’s happening.

My baby sister is getting married.

I remember the first time I met Tony. Coming off of nearly two years of unsuccessful frog blog expeditions, I admit I was less than optimistic when Heather suggested we have lunch with the boy she was “dating”. I wasn’t nervous to meet him, rather I was mildly annoyed. Why was Heather wasting our precious sister time with a boy that she would no doubt dismiss in another week or two?

Tony met us at the restaurant, eagerly shook my hand, and once we sat down at our table he said “I’ve been thinking about all the things I think you should know about me.”

“Okay…” I said.

He responded with “I think the first thing you should know is that my brain is mush.”

I stared at him for a solid five seconds and ready for anything I asked “Okay…is that due to drug or alcohol dependency? Maybe a previous overdose?”

He looked at me like I was an idiot. “No,” he said. “I was just born like that. It’s just mush.” He smiled, plopped his arm around Heather’s chair and looked me like he was quite pleased with himself.

Bewildered, I looked at Heather, and using our telepathic communication, sent over a “WTH?!” signal.

That was the first of many occasions where Heather translated Tony’s intentions, words, or text messages.

I could spend the rest of this blog post telling you about how Tony won me over but I’d rather focus on Heather and I (it is OUR frog blog after all). Please rest assured, however, that Tony has, indeed, won me over.

When Tony texted me (yes, he friggin texted me) to tell me that he wanted to propose to Heather, I nearly lost it. This was partly because I wasn’t sure if he was serious (it was a text message after all) and partly because it was 3 p.m. on a work day in the middle of my first week at a new job (good job, bro). Rather than instantly be excited for Heather, I straight up panicked. WHAT ABOUT ME?! She was MMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY sister. Who was Tony to ask her anything?! What would I do without her?!

I wish I could say I was embarrassed by my reaction but who are we kidding? I’m sure I would do the same thing all over again. Heather and I are, and will always be, connected. It took me a little bit for me to realize that Tony was not taking Heather from me, he was asking to join our elite crew. (#youcantsitwithus)

She said "YAAAASSSS"!

That processing took at least 24 hours but we emerged on the other side with a crazy plan: a surprise engagement party for Heather (note: Heather hates surprises).

There were lots of lies, plan changing, and groups texts but I think we nailed it. 😊

I won’t share much of their actual engagement story as that’s their story to tell but please enjoy these pictures taken by a photographer friend Tony asked to hide in the bushes (ultimately creeping Heather out).

FaceTiming Holly!

After Tony said “it’s happening” and popped the question, I was the first person Heather called. That alone makes me want to sob hysterically while I type this. The comical part of this is that I had assumed she would call me, NOT FaceTime me, which is exactly what she did. This meant that when my phone started buzzing, there was utter chaos at the Airbnb where we (two of Heather’s best friends and one significant other) were frantically getting ready to surprise Heather at her dinner. The end result is that I answered the FaceTime half-naked and told Heather I was getting ready for a Junior League event (still funny to me).

I had met Tony earlier in the day to give him a dress Heather had previously tried on and loved, and a card that literally said I would now call myself her fairy godmother, and told her I hoped she and Tony would have fun at dinner that night.

As you might imagine, Heather was floored when she arrived to the dinner with Tony to find a small army of close friends and family from all over everywhere.

If you’d like to watch our combined Snapchat documentation of this whole event, feel free to check it out below! (Disclaimer: Sorry not sorry for the clips of Ash and I scream/singing Kesha).

It’s hard to believe that Heather’s engagement was nine months ago, and even harder to believe that this weekend she will become a married woman. While I have lots of feels, and I don’t anticipate them ever stopping, I am ultimately overjoyed that Heather has found someone she loves and that she is embracing this next chapter in her life. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for them both but as Tony is well aware, Heather and I are double trouble and Tony should fasten his seat belt.

Here we go!

With so many hugs and no more frogs for Heather,

Holly

The end of an era.

I suppose I could use this last blog post as a time to update you on all the new happenings in my dating life. While I can provide new little tidbits on a few of the previously discussed stories, the gist is the same: I'm still single. Rather than talk about that, I think it would be a better use of time (mine and yours) to talk about what the last two years have meant to me.

I know when Heth and I agreed to do this, we had some interesting feedback. We addressed some of those comments in our first few posts but let there be no mistake; the concern was in the minority. Masses of you sent texts, messages, and emails to us expressing support and suggestions. Thank you for that.

I have loved your involvement in this process every step of the way. You all have not only commented and expressed interest in what we have posted, but you've also reached out to us for better pictures, for more info, for the names behind the pseudonyms...and I must confess, it made this process so much more bearable.

In addition to expressing interest in our lives, you've also reached out for help in creating your own profiles, or for thoughts on which platforms might be a good fit for you, and I have relished feeling a part of your story, just as you have been a part of mine. As someone who spends a lot of time alone, you have helped that time not feel lonely...and I am inexplicably grateful.

As for what's next...I'm not sure. I think my life in general is in need of a little alignment and I'm not sure where dating will fall into that "new me." I've learned so much about myself - what I'm looking for, what I'm not over, what I see at the end - and the reality is that maybe none of this will turn out how I thought it would...and that's okay with me.

The purpose of this blog was to document this time in our lives and, hopefully, look back and smile when Heth and I are old ladies. I don't know how comical we'll find this in hindsight, but I do wish that we could also include all the love and support we've felt during this venture. Thank you for being a part of "the frog blog." I've loved having you here.

Hugs and frogs,
Holly

There's a cat in a bag. And that cat is a frog.

This is an interesting (and anxiety-provoking) blog to write, but I fear for my life if I don't write something because Holly has gently been reminding me for weeks to do so.

While I won't completelyyy let the cat out of the bag and delve into full disclosure here, I will disclose that there is in a cat in a bag. And the cat is actually a frog. I've either caught said frog, or said frog has caught me. (I hope you're all following the theme of this blog and understand that the frog is actually a guy...) (Actually, maybe I don't. I bet this would be a funny post if you all imagined this as an amphibian..)

If you know me, or have read anything we've written, you know Holly and I are both particular creatures who aren't exactly flexible in our approach to dating. We've been trying to balance progressing and growing, while also sticking with our values and standards.

So, you won't be surprised to find that this hasn't been easy for me. I recently admitted to him that the easiest and most convenient thing for me to do would be to find a way out of this. I wouldn't be trying to find a way out because of him, but because of who I am. I'm a chicken, and a creature of habit. Those habits have lead me into complacency with singleness.

But, man. He's making it reallllly hard to find a way out.

He's been patient.

• With my schedule...my rigidity...my "Hey, I'm still trying to figure out what this is..."
  

And kind.

• He gave me an HDMI cord (because he diagnosed the problem with my DVD player, which had been useless FOR THREE YEARS and then provided the solution...)
• Ordered me a new OU car emblem and offered to take my car to wash it so that I could put the emblem on it...

And different.

• Planned a date where he picked me up wearing suspenders with flowers in tow, played my favorite songs (which he had downloaded onto his phone), and took me to a shfancy restaurant...

And supportive.

• Of my job...
• Of my dog stuff...
• Of OU alumni club stuff...
• Of my faith...
• Also, he tolerates my excessive emoji use, which I'm considering supportive.

And flexible.

• When I say "dude I'm tired..can't hang out tonight", He's like "Okay! Hope you're okay! Can I help?"

And considerate.

• I mean...He had queso, and a flower, and brownies when I went over to his house to watch a movie last weekend..
• When talking about my favorite movies, I didn't realize he proceeded to order them on DVD from Amazon that very night...

And funny.

• I don't think I've ever not laughed around him..even when 1/2 of those laughs may be at my own ridiculousness.
• He may or may not have challenged me on impersonations of Smeagol from Lord of The Rings. And he won. By a landslide.

And communicative.

• He's been open and honest about what he's thinking. I haven't questioned what his intentions are.. (though I will admit I've questioned why he has those intentions...)
• He's given me space to vent frustrations, anxieties, and boundaries.

This becomes a little more complicated because I've known this guy for a few years and we had a bit of a rocky start to a potential relationship then. I've learned a lot about grace and forgiveness, and have accepted that people really can change. I know I've changed since the time we initially met, and I'm learning that he has really changed too.

Yeah, I'm not going to lie...I basically had no plan for this part of  frog hunting. I suppose I realized it could happen, I just was so focused on keeping my head above water on 75 different dating sites that I didn't ever map out any sort of game plan. As such, watching Heather process this has been quite an interesting sitcom.

If pressed to consider how I'm feeling about Heather finding a frog, I'd have to say I'm little upset. Of course I'm happy for Heather (and the fact that she now has a functional DVD player) but selfishly I also feel like I'm going to be alone in the trenches...No one likes to be alone in the trenches.

When we first launched the frog blog, I had a work colleague give me a frog hunting (gigging) tool. It's been sitting at my desk at work, and has been the subject of many interesting office conversations, but I never realized it's practicality until Heather said she had a frog in a bag. So let me clear Mr. Frog, I totally believe in innocent until proven guilty but I need you to understand that I'm armed, and I'm not afraid to use it.

Hugs and Frogs,

Heather and Holly

If we're not married by the time we're 25...

Take a walk with me - a little walk down memory lane. Maybe to college, maybe high school, maybe, if you were on your a-game, travel all the way back to elementary school.  Think back to that conversation that ended with "well, if we're not married by the time we're (fill in any number seen as beyond hope), let's just marry each other!"

Ah. A plan.

I like plans.

I like them so much that I actually had five. I had five boys under contract with the legally binding statement mentioned above.

I had one boy suggest we get married at 20 (this was too young for consideration to me), three suggested 25 (but when I shared with one that I was already committed to two others for that day, he politely offered 24) and when all those ships had sailed, I had one blessed soul offer 30.

All this planning on my part and here I sit, wrapped in a blanket watching Dance Moms and eating Nutella with a spoon.

Where are they? Married (I assume happily) or in a very committed relationship (again, assuming happily).

So why blog about it? I just haven't been able to shake them all from my mind recently. I suppose I'm feeling haunted by that dreaded "what if" question. What if we had just done it?

I'd say a solid 70% of my brain knows why we didn't. The reality is that one or both of us would have been settling on what we were looking for in a relationship. If we hadn't felt we were settling, we would have been dating, which then makes the marriage portion a bit of a more serious conversation than setting an age.

However, the 30% of head space remaining keeps saying "but you were friends!" And we were...in some cases, we still are...and I think that's the tricky thing. Everyone says you should marry your best friend...at different stages in my life, some of these boys would have been among that ranking...so why not just jump in? Why not go for it? For most of these boys, I would have, and still would, trust them with my life. I grew up with them. Granted, I met some later in life but think we did a fair share of growing up together. I know them and their moral compass. I know their families. I know they would treat me well. Isn't that what a marriage is supposed to be about?

If arranged marriages work in other cultures, wouldn't a self-arranged marriage, at an age I chose, with a boy I cared about, make complete sense?

Le sigh.

I think I need a bigger spoon.

I think I've made a couple of "if we're not married by..." agreements, but now that I think about them, it just makes me sad. There's a nuance behind those joking agreements..a nuance that says "hey...as time goes on and I become less desirable, we can settle for each other, alright?" or "if we reach the point where finding someone who would truly love me is unlikely, then we could probably figure something out? yeah? cool."

On the other hand, I've also had similar thoughts to Holly's 30% thoughts. How much of a successful relationship is finding the right person? And how much of it is just sticking it out with whatever person you've decided to stick it out with?

Anyway, if you've read other blog posts from us, then you've probably heard of an app called Hinge. Hinge underwent a total revamp and really, it's just exhausting. Another app with another format with another set of rules, with unfortunately the same 'ole schmucks. It's making me consider a revisit to my "if we're not married by" agreements....

Hugs and frogs,
Holly & Heather

The state of my affairs.

Unfortunately, this blog has taken a back burner in my life and it frustrates me. I consider it failure that I can't seem to balance this with everything else. Heck, that's rather prophetic isn't it? If I can't keep a blog, how on earth am I supposed to find a man?! Alas, another blog for another day.

Today, I intend to return to the original intent of this blog: to document this time in my life so that when I'm 70, I can look back at this and laugh. Who are we kidding? I'm laughing now...but here we go anyway.

1. I had a blind date with a friend of a work colleague. I suppose it technically wasn't a "blind" date as I had previously met him at a conference. Unfortunately, that original meeting was not as memorable for me as it was for him. Nonetheless, we met for drinks...at 7:30 p.m....which is still a concept I can't wrap my head around (I'M STARVING AT 7:30! I WANT REAL FOOD! I WANT MEAT!). We had a nice time with our drinks and talked about all the stuff I would normally want to talk about (small town feels, religion, career aspirations, etc.). Then, he proceeded to say he had lost his wallet, I paid for everything, I offered to share an Uber with him to get him home given the missing wallet but he preferred to walk and I haven't heard from him since. That was in January I think?

2. I barely missed the opportunity to chat with Sean. He came to D.C. the same day I left for Germany. As expected, he was a perfect gentleman in all of our correspondence.

3. I accidentally went on a date with a work colleague. We met for coffee where I thought he wanted to talk about research...which we did...and then he emailed me apologizing for being nervous and asked me to go to an art gallery with him the following week. Realizing what was happening, I politely declined and that seems to be that.

4. I joined CrossPaths which is supposed to be a combo effort of Bumble and Christian Mingle. Unfortunately, as the image indicates, even with a 50 mile radius, this place isn't hopping.

5. Fawkes and I finally met up! I say "finally" because I actually had to cancel our first meeting time given the ultimate demise of my sweet car, Jezebel. Assuming he would think I was lying (of course a girl would cite car trouble as a reason for canceling a date), I totally took a video for him from the side of the road to prove that I wasn't lying. He was a complete champ about it and really, I did enjoy our appetizers and desert (we decided to share those rather than have dinner). We had a great a conversation and he was wonderfully calm when the band of rings I bought at the Louvre in Paris broke and beads scattered all over the floor of the restaurant. The only real trouble was that I didn't want to kiss him. I don't think he wanted to kiss me either as that dinner was the last I heard from him. I mean, we are now Facebook friends so "hey, Fawkes!" :)



It's hard to write because I think we're probably in the dog house with the blog gods. Whoopsies.

I'll be brief and summarize my state of affairs in a bulleted template like Holly did.

1) The last few months of my life have been less inclusive of new prospects, and more inclusive of dodging the bullets that old prospects can throw at you. From spending time back in Oklahoma avoiding the emotions that seeing blasts-from-the-pasts can bring, to receiving a few interesting correspondences (from FB of all places) from guys (Muscles and Quotesy) who were previously blogged about.

2) A woman I know through a previous job called me (on my current office number of all places..) to small talk. And by "small talk" I actually mean "ask why I'm not putting myself out there enough". She also wanted me to "stop waiting around and start living my life." Not only was the entire conversation inappropriate, one-sided, and conflicting...but it was also infuriating. I kept trying to change the subject and remain professional but eventually retorted "I'm sorry..but I can't think of a single aspect of my life where I'm holding back anyyyythinnggg or depriving myself of anythingggg....." Sensing my defensiveness, she commented about how I was too pretty to be single.

.......And then I changed the conversation by asking her if she wanted to adopt a dog from Even Chance. (Man...that always pipes people down....)

3.) My church started a series about relationships last week, which was incredibly interesting. If you're in STL and want to catch the rest of the series with me, feel free to join! The message was about the difference between desires and expectations, and more specifically about how our desires can become problematic...I'm 98.6% sure that our pastor was speaking directly to me, but there's a 1.4% chance that it was also intended for someone else.

Anyway, that's all for now folks.


Hugs and frogs,
Holly & Heather

My Favorite...

In honor of National Sister Day, I've snuck one past my baby sis. She has no idea I'm writing this...actually, come to think of it, having me write this behind her back is going to seem like small potatoes when she reads the post as she also has no idea I've been screen shotting our text messages for a year. Yeah. A year.

I sometimes feel sorry for Heather, and frankly, after reviewing a year of our text messages, I still feel sorry for her. From birth, Heather and I have been so very different and sometimes those differences shock me. Even in childhood, Heather was so much more level-headed, so much more practical. Practicality has never, hear me, NEVER, been my strong suit.

In fact, staying true to my lack of preference for practicality, I think young Charlotte and Tiana from Princess and the Frog sum up Heather and I pretty darn well...

That said, I can't imagine doing life without her. Seriously. I can't imagine it. And sometimes when I hear of someone losing their sibling, I have to take a moment to fight back tears because I just can't imagine life without Heather.

So without a touching tribute (Heather HATES those kinds of things) I'll get going with the reason we're here: I want to remember this time in our lives. Afterall, that's why Heather and I are doing the blog but I wanted to take it one step further and focus, for just a minute, on my relationship with my sister, rather than a relationship with a boy.

As such, I thought it might be fun to reflect on some of our sister highlights from this past year. (Note that I'm always blue, Heather always gray.) Here we go!

1. There was the time we discussed getting tattoos. 

 2. The time we were hungry and thinking about blog posts.

 3. That time new Emojis were installed in an iPhone update.

 4. When Adele released her new album.

 5. That time we planned a Disney vacay.

6. That time I needed Heather to be my therapist.

7. That time Heather questioned how seriously I take 50% off sales.

8. The one day a year where Heather is more dramatic than me.

9. That one time when Heather let me believe in miracles.

10. That time we realized how selfish Heather is.

11. That time I went to an academic conference and attended a panel on dating.

12. That time I had a dream about Heather.

13. That time Heather judged my dinner choices.

14. That time Heather wanted me to smell people for her.

15. That time I needed Heather to be my therapist again.

 16. That time we discussed the true intent of the Girl Scouts Corporation.

 17. That time there was a Final Four.

 

 18. That time I needed a hashtag for a girl's weekend (Heth is LEGIT good at this.)

19. That time we loved blondes and hated cheaters.

 20. That time we planned another vacation.

21. That time Prince died.

22. That time I once again pointed out that Heather has uncanny abilities to phase people out.

23. That time we talked about underwear.

24. That time Heather gave me a heart attack.

25. That time Heather made me Regina George.

26. That time Paris flooded days before I went and Heather was super sympathetic.

27. That time we had an Emoji clarification conversation.

28. That time Kevin Durant left the Thunder.

29. That time Heather was going to make sure I got proper photo creds!

30. That time Heather supported my purchase of a tulle skirt.

31. That time joining a Fitbit challenge with Heather made me relive my childhood so I accused her of cheating.

In sum, I've left out SO many texts. SO many. Texts where Heather corrected my grammar in this blog, texts where I thanked Heather for sending me ice cream at work, texts where we texted the lyrics to Gunpowder and Lead back and forth...and frankly, all these texts don't even capture my reliance on and love for that girl. There are so many phone calls, emails, gchats, and in-person discussions that make me so grateful to call her my baby sis.

Kid, thanks for not killing me when we were young. Happy National Sister Day!

;)

All the hugs and not a single frog,

Holly