Two Sisters...Too Many Frogs: Squints and Muscles

Hi everyone...Heather here.

I don't know how to make these updates cohesive or wrap this all up with a nice theme, so, I'm not going to. I would rather spend my energy on doing things that matter, like googling images of puppy and duck friendships or pretending that I'm a chef by cooking food sent to me by Hello Fresh. BTW-Cooking is hard and takes a long time. You know what isn't hard and doesn't take a long time? Rummaging through a box of shredded wheat and sipping a can of diet Dr. Pepper instead.

I digress.

I had another date. We'll call him Squints (In hindsight, he kinda resembled Squints from The Sandlot, but I didn't realize that before...) because he wore hipster/thick-rimmed glasses. Squints is a writer for a couple of publications in STL and he wrote a book. Weird.

The date went semi-well. We chatted about a lot of things, including 10 year HS reunions and him traveling through Cambodia or Machu Picchu or something. (I might need to work on my listening skills...)

Leaving the date was awkward. It was raining, and so we basically just ran out and Squints ran with me to my car. I had an umbrella, but, I felt like a pansy using it because he didn't have an umbrella. So, I literally ran in the rain while holding my umbrella underneath my arm. Cool move, Heather. Cool move.

The typical routine when leaving a date is this awkward dance of "Oh, I had a good time!".."Oh, me too!" .."Let's do something again soon!".."Oh, sounds good!".."Oh, text me when you get home!".."Oh, okay!" (I don't know why I'm pretending that every sentence starts with "Oh"...)...
However, because it was raining, this one was a quick "K bye!" (Which, if you know me at all, you know this is muuuuuuuuuuuuuch more my style....haha).

Neither of us said anything to each other that night....I started second guessing myself and wasn't sure if I had made it clear to Squints that I would want to hear from him again.....I broke down and texted Squints the following day to thank him for my drink and for meeting me. He responded a few hours later saying I was welcome and that it was nice to meet me, too.

And that's where it has ended. I have no reason to believe I'll ever hear from Squints again, which is fine. I'll live. On the other hand, I'd also be fine hearing from him again. So, I'll just sit here and bask in my stubbornness and refusal to initiate another conversation with him.

Moving on.

I started chatting with a guy from Match who turned out to be a bigger investigative creeper than I am. Let's call him Muscles (because he has them..and because he's a fitness trainer..and because I can't think of a better nickname) When he messaged me, I took screen shots of his photos to send to a few friends because Muscles is quite a looker. We messaged back and forth on Match for a bit, then he got my number and we texted for a few days. Of course, as soon as I had his first name and phone number, I was able to do all kinds of digging around online to figure out who he was. I learned enough to decide that he was probably a pretty good guy and probably wouldn't kill me and chop me up in little bags if I agreed to meet up with him.

The next day, I got a FB friend request from him and I nearly fell out of my chair.....and then rolled around on the floor...and then curled up in the fetal position because someone had finally out-creeped me and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE! I don't know how he found me--considering that my first name is pretty common, he didn't know my last name, and my phone number isn't linked to my FB page. I can't even be creeped out by the fact that he was doing some digging around on me, because I had done the same thing. I just wasn't brazen enough to send him a friend request.

In an ironic turn of events (where I apparently was living in an alternate universe and breaking all of my own rules), I accepted Muscle's friend request.

..............And then I came to my senses, deleted Muscles off of my Facebook, and we haven't spoken sense.

Those are my best two stories for now...I'll hand the torch over to Holly.

Holly here...I mean, I don't have much to update with...and by "much" I mean any. Still a bumbling, hinging, mingling fool with zip to show for it....except for these little gems:

Woah. Slightly threatening but I don't hate it Alex...I share the same passionate viewpoint on brunch.

I feel like you're making a) a lot of assumptions and b) a lot of judgements. Maybe you're missing out because you do?! Ever think of that, Alex?

Bam. A man with a plan. Thanks for skipping the awkward "Where are you from?" chats.

Confession appreciated and I also like long walks to Chipotle. Let's get married.

Bryan, if you can quote Ten Things I Hate About You on your tagline, then I basically trust you with my life. #seriously #canyoueverbejustwhelmed?

PICK ME!!!!

I ALMOST wanted to know badly enough that I swiped right with sweet Fred here...almost...and now I'll just always wonder....

What? Is that an empirically sound statement? I want some statistics for that one, Jared. And why is this your tagline?! I should swipe right with you because no one else will?

John, based on your sentence structure, your haphazardly placed period and your incorrect use of the adverb "snarkily," I feel you may not know how to do anything with a lady.

Keith. You sound adorable. However, you should know that while there is a LONG list of things we will not tell my mother, the fact that we met on here is not high enough on our list of priorities for us to spend much time dwelling on it.