What's your type?

A note from Holly:

“What’s your type?”

That’s the question I usually get immediately after discussing my proclaimed “year of dating.” It’s a funny little question and I have two default responses:

1. “Is heterosexual a type?”
2. “Ken doll.”

However, after realizing that this would probably be useful information for my frog hunting endeavors and that I actually didn’t have a concrete answer, I decided to initiate my usual game plan for such difficulties – I called Heather. When I asked my darling sister if I had a type, she laughed (it was really a snarky little sound) and then she said “Of course you do! You’re totally into nerds!”

I was immediately offended. I assume that a slew of previous boyfriends are now also offended.

In an effort to redeem myself, I started rattling off names and a variety of reasons as to why “nerd” wasn’t my type. “But there was Joe Bob, he was captain of the golf team! And there was totally Jimmy Joe! He got offered a basketball scholarship to college! And what about Cody, Ethan, and Jake? They wore cowboy boots! Nerds don’t wear boots!”

Heather tolerated my tirade and then rattled off a few names that really didn’t bring much else to the table other than their ability to beat me at a video game but lose to me in a real life physical altercation. Hhhhmmmm….

This was mildly frustrating to me…especially because Heather’s type is pretty straight-forward – if he’s not currently an athlete, not formerly an athlete, or not actively interested in viewing sporting events, then he’s definitely not for Heather.

I shared this frustration with my friend Kate, who sympathized with my struggle. She summed it up a little better than I could though…”Of course I don’t know my type! If I knew my type, I wouldn’t be single!”

Bingo.

How in the world am I supposed to share my type when clearly all the “type” choices I have made previously failed? 

I mean, logic would suggest that I could learn from previous relationships…I’m not usually a fan of logic but I decided to attempt it. I made a list of reoccurring themes that should perhaps factor into the next round.

Common Themes

1. Truck ownership – I admit, growing up in Oklahoma probably impacted this fact but nonetheless, a majority of former relationships drove trucks. I did not hate this. ;)

2. Lack of Jersey shorts – These are Heather’s people. However, I do not consider running shorts and a t-shirt to be appropriate attire for 90% of the world to see you wearing. You work out? Awesome. You wear these when you do? Happy for you. You want to wear them to dinner? No thanks.

3. They love Jesus – this is a tricky one because there were varying levels here but that’s okay. During certain relationships, I loved Him less him than I do now so I’m judgement free on that note but share it because this is obviously an important factor for me.

4. No long hair – stresses me out. That is all.

So…yeah…that’s basically all I can come up with for uniting factors. Everything else seems to be a modge-podge of interests, attributes, and skill sets…

Perhaps it’s easier to stick with the previously stated requirements: Is he straight? Does he look like a Ken doll? Done!

In other news, I’ve had two interesting conversations/realizations that I thought I’d share:

1. My friends Matt and Darli came to visit a few weeks ago. We had a grand time with many adventures! While it was overall nothing short of spectacular, I made an interesting discovery…I don’t notice men. Seriously. Apparently this is a thing that I do not do. We could all be sitting at a table. Darli would say “MmmmMmmmmMmmm!” Matt would say “Yes ma’am!!!” I would say “Right? Isn’t the cornbread delicious!” Nope…we were apparently not discussing cornbread. This situation played out over multiple days and at multiple venues. Both Matt and Darli could find, smile at, and comment on beautiful people before I even realized there was someone near us. I feel like this is problematic to frog hunting but I don’t really have a solution. I feel like the alternative, which would be creepily staring everyone I meet up and down, is not really conducive to finding the right kind of frogs, you know what I mean?

2. I went shopping with my friend, Liz, and her lifelong friend, Rachel. While Liz was trying on clothes, I filled Rachel in on the Frog Blog. Her response was game changing. First of all, she wasn’t shocked that I was trying online dating.  There were also no comments regarding how unfortunate it is that I’m not already married and there was no sympathy regarding the process of wading through tadpoles. Instead, she told me I needed to be aggressive. Boom. She’s currently living in New York, attempting the same thing Heather and I are and she hit on something that I had previously never thought of – there are other frog hunters out there. There are other frog hunters who want my frog! They want him rul bad! So if I see someone on Hinge that I want to meet with, then I need to initiate the convo and go meet him! If I don’t, someone else most certainly will. Seriously guys, game changing. 

So on that note, I do believe it’s probably time to expand the dating options from Hinge to….something other than Match.com (as previously stated, I ain’t got time for them crazies over there!). More to come on this in future blog posts but it’s time. I will continue to Hinge and as such, thought I’d share a few more taglines that have, if nothing else, brightened my days. Enjoy!

 Right? Totes agree, Brian.

 Me too Sam, me too.

 So, I'm not really sure if David is overly confident, a true "foodie," or if this is a truly a testament to the priorities in his life: food > Holly

 So, Will here actually made me snort. Because this is so ridiculously true. That basically sums up how I feel every morning that I wake up and there are no matches...wahwah

 Wow. Jake's a philosopher.

 HUGE bonus points to you, Mike. We all have moments...but as long as your moments allow you to quote Sandra Bullock movies, we'd get along great.

 I love everything about you, Alex.

 ...?

 We obviously have different ideas regarding life expectancy. (Note from Heather: While editing this post, I texted Holly to inform her that these were song lyrics. Don't worry, y'all. At least one Roberts sister knows Sublime.)

 Found it! Current runner and dedicated friend! You liar!

 I had to google Josh Lyman...

 Bam!

 This? This is how you pick up women?! 

Uhhh...that's a lot of pressure, Sean. You've got nothing?

 And Sebastian for the win! *drops the mic*

A note from Heather:

This post feels shallow. Having a type feels shallow. However, it is what it is. And here I is. I'm offended that Holly described my type as being jersey short wearing athletes. However, with a few exceptions in mind, it is what it is. I yam what I yam.

As Holly pointed out, whatever we've thought our type was clearly hasn't been working. Here's to throwing caution to the wind and branching out from my type. Here's to recreating my type as simply: "a confident, faith-focused, kind, generous, funny, and intelligent man", whether he wears basketball shorts or not. :)

Hugs and frogs,
Holly & Heather